


Faking For Spitelout But Not Really

by ashleybenlove



Series: Ashley's HTTYD Rare Pair Week 2018 Fics [3]
Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hiccup gives the best burn to Spitelout, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Making Out, Multi, OT6, Polyamory, Race To The Edge, like he'll need a some ice for that burn, technically not a fake relationship, use of the word queer but in a positive context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 08:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16446257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleybenlove/pseuds/ashleybenlove
Summary: Because Snotlout is concerned about Spitelout's reaction to his being in a polyamorous relationship with two women and three men, he and Astrid pretend to only be dating each other in Spitelout's presence.Also, Hiccup makes out with the twins in front of Spitelout.





	Faking For Spitelout But Not Really

**Author's Note:**

> This is also posted on my tumblr.
> 
> For HTTYD Rarepair Week 2018 for the prompt: Fake relationship.
> 
> This fic takes place during Race to the Edge, but no specific timeframe (except to note that it’s likely after season 2’s **Snotlout Gets The Axe** ).

“Astrid, pretend to be my girlfriend?” Snotlout asked one morning by way of greeting.

“What? What are you talking about…? We’re already dating; you’re dating all of us.” Astrid said. She paused. “Good morning.”

She moved forward and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

Hiccup sleepily watched this go on as he munched on some breakfast.

“Yes, that’s true,” Snotlout replied.

“Very much so,” Astrid said.

“Happily so,” Hiccup whispered before continuing to eat his food.

“Yes,” Snotlout replied and blew a kiss at Hiccup, before blowing a kiss at the twins and Fishlegs who were quietly watching this, also eating breakfast.

“Well?” Astrid replied.

Snotlout sighed.

“You know my dad,” Snotlout said.

“Unfortunately,” Hiccup said, from his spot, a little too loudly.

Astrid nodded at Hiccup’s comment, agreeing with the sentiment.

“Do you really think he’s gonna be happy with the idea of me dating five people? Three of whom are men?” Snotlout said.

Astrid growled, but not at him. Knowing that Spitelout would infringe upon their happiness—and specifically Snotlout’s happiness— by daring to disapprove.

“It’s probably easier just to say that I’m dating you rather than to say I’m dating the rest of the Dragon Riders,” Snotlout said. “He doesn’t have to know I’m dating four other people.”

“It’d be easier for all of us to say that,” Astrid noted. “In terms of dealing with judgment from others.”

“Fair point.”

“Yup,” Hiccup said.

“So, let’s just pretend, when he’s around, that you and I are dating,” Snotlout said. “That we’re only dating each other. And when he’s not around, it’s our happy queer poly Dragon Rider lovefest.”

“And what about us?” Ruffnut and Tuffnut asked. The twins pointed to themselves, Fishlegs, and Hiccup.

Snotlout shrugged.

“So, we’ll just smother Hiccup with kisses in front of Spitelout just to spite the lout,” Ruffnut said.

Tuffnut cackled.

Ruffnut leaned forward and kissed Hiccup on the cheek.

“As long as I get to kiss him when we’re not nearby my dad,” Snotlout said.

“Fine,” Hiccup said.

The gang agreed.

 

 

 

 

A nice day at the Edge lost that title when Astrid spotted Spitelout and his dragon heading their way while on patrol, so she and Stormfly increased their speed and headed back to Clubhouse. Snotlout and Hiccup were canoodling at the table.

“Hey, stop that,” Astrid said, sharply, quickly. “Spitelout’s on his way.”

In short order, Hiccup groaned very loudly, gave Snotlout a quick peck on the cheek, whispered “I love ya” to him, stood up as Astrid stood nearby to take his seat, gave her a quick peck on the lips, and then stood with the twins by the map.

Astrid pressed her forehead to Snotlout, a protective arm around him, and sat there quietly with him.

“Wanna make out?” Astrid whispered.

“Kinda,” Snotlout replied.

Astrid moved her head slightly to press her lips to Snotlout and a few moments after that, Spitelout announced himself with a “Boyo!”

“Ah, Spitelout, what a nice surprise!” Hiccup exclaimed, oozing with that right amount of diplomacy and sass, trying his best to hide his dislike of the man.

Spitelout briefly acknowledged Hiccup and the second Spitelout was not looking at him, Hiccup held up two fingers in his direction, causing the twins to snort loudly.

“Ah, Boyo, there ya are,” Spitelout said, to Snotlout at the table. “I see you’re kissing on the Hofferson lass, maybe someday we’ll finally have a union between the Hofferson and Jorgenson families.”

“Heh, maybe,” Snotlout said. “We’re pretty happy.”

Astrid gave a fake smile, even though she was pretty happy with sitting next to Snotlout, a protective arm around him. The fake smile was for Spitelout.

“Well, that would be quite the union,” Spitelout said.

There was the sound of smacking from behind them, in the direction of the map. There was a lovely sound of a male moaning that had Astrid and Snotlout glance at each other and smirk because they recognized that moan.

The three of them turned around. Hiccup was standing in front of the map, and he was between the twins. Tuffnut’s hands were on Hiccup’s hips, Ruffnut’s hands were on his shoulders. Hiccup was currently kissing Tuffnut, and then turned to kiss Ruffnut.

Astrid glanced at Snotlout, who was watching with a grin on his face. She couldn’t help but smirk when Hiccup continued to kiss the two, even as three people watched.

Spitelout cleared his throat.

“Boyo,” Spitelout said, in the direction of Hiccup.

Hiccup probably heard him but chose to kiss Ruffnut instead. They sighed into the kiss.

“Hiccup,” Spitelout said again.

Ruffnut pulled away from Hiccup’s lips with a smack.

“Excuse me,” Ruffnut said. “We’re busy. Do you mind?”

Tuffnut chuckled.

Hiccup feigned surprise at seeing Spitelout again.

“Oh, I forgot you were here,” Hiccup lied.

“Hiccup, does your father know you’re dating the Thorstons?” Spitelout asked.

“Mmm. Maybe?” Hiccup said vaguely. He shrugged. “If anything, I’m sure my dad would be happy for me regardless. Because he’s a good dad.”


End file.
